And I can honestly say that I really missed you guys. After my last post (here), I needed a little break. With so much going on, this little piece of creative heaven has taken a back seat. But after a long vacation with friends, I am refreshed, rebooted and ready to go! How have you all been doing?! I have to say all of the love and feedback I received from you guys has been amazing. I had a hard time writing that post and it took me about seventeen re-reads and a few days to press publish. So, I guess what I am trying to say is, thank you.
Now with one of my favorite holidays right around the corner, I have been planning my gear in my head. I am planning on spending my fourth on the beach all day and then straight to a beach bar at night so my outfit has got to be versatile and patriotic. The key to pulling this off will be some staple pieces and the right undergarments to change into post beach.
Along with the outfit, a few other items are a must. I am obsessed with bringing refreshing wipes with me when I am outside for while in the summer. These are great for your face, underarms and whole body really! You won't have to feel all sandy and sweaty. I love these ones here. Also, don't forget deodorant, a little bronzer, mascara and some bobby pins for a quick hair re-do. Man, I just can't love holidays that involve the beach, good people, beers and America.
What are you all doing for the holiday? Man, it's great to be back.
I am not one to really talk personal life here but with what has been going on, I felt like I had to share with you guys.
It's funny how you adapt to change. Each one of us has such a different reaction to large changes. Normally, I am panicked, flustered and overwhelmed. I can't concentrate and all I can think about is how the change is either unfair, exciting or how everything else will now be different.
I am currently one month from a change that rocked my entire world. The end of an eight and a half year relationship. Moving out, breaking ties with people who have become loved ones and losing my every day best friend and confidant. Those things alone were what kept me from allowing this change for so long. This change was the most painful and liberating thing I have ever gone through in my entire life. For the first few days I really wasn't sure how I could function as a single piece. Why should I have to learn to? Why me?
All of these 'poor me' thoughts were swirling and consuming. I felt like a tornado of broken. I have never been one to physically react to my emotions, but this really did get the best of me. It was like nothing I have ever experienced. I couldn't eat, I didn't want to drink and I didn't want to fall asleep because I hated the idea of waking up and having to remember what was happening all over again. Then, just like the movies, a song came on the radio and I screamed it at the top of my lungs with tears streaming down my face. At the end of the song I literally felt the weight, sadness, anger and hurt lift. It was the most surreal and pretty much dramatic moment ever. Not only am I going to be able to learn how to be a single person, I decided I was going to be awesome at it.
Being 27 and single is a hell of a lot better than waking up at 35 and being miserable. Single shouldn't be scary. In fact, it isn't scary. It's fun. Sure, dating is absolutely the most terrifying thing I can imagine, but for every bad date you have a great story to gossip with your friends about. The first date is like ripping off a band-aid, not so bad, just do it. On top of all of this, I was reminded that not only do I have the most wonderful and supportive family, but my friends are the kind of people who really do make everything better.
I have been struggling with the guilt of not being as upset as everything thinks I am. I am happy. I really just feel good. Sure, I have waves of sadness, he was a wonderful man. BUT, the excitement and unknown is really almost too much for me to keep the smile off my face. I feel light and breezy. Actually, the worst part of this whole brand new single girl thing is the pity.
"Oh, you will be ok!" I am actually fan-fucking-tastic.
"You are just so strong! You will find someone." Oh thank you, I know, there are plenty of tinder boys out there.
"Hang in there, you're awesome." No shit, of course I am.
OK you guys, enough. How about "I am so happy you are happy."
So the general gist of this ramble? I am tindering, doing me and loving living life.
I cannot believe the first beach weekend is in the record books. While getting ready for the beach yesterday, I felt completely unprepared. While borderline spazzing out about what to bring, I decided I needed to have a go-to set of items that would never fail me. Per usual, jorts are involved.
The warm weather is here to stay people! I have officially busted out my self tanner to make my pasty white skin look less sad. My go-to look this year is going to be fun flowy tops, jeans and wedges. I love the simplicity of this combo and the way you can accessorize with anything!